2008 Tour de France Picks

After the debacle of the 2006 Tour, Floyd letting me down, and dopers pissing me off, I was fed up with pro cycling. I let my subscription to Cycle Sport, and Velonews lapse and refused to watch the crap on tv. Well that didn't last long. Even though last year's race was more of the same doping b.s. we've grown accustom to. before I knew it I had renewed my Cycle Sport subscription, I was spending countless hours watching Versus on my DVR, and scouring the internet for Euro procycling news. After thousands, if not tens of people asked for my picks last year, disenchanted for hurting so many people and causing mass histeria I'm back, so here I am once again, embarking on another list. I hope you enjoy it.

The top Ten:

1. Cadel Evans -Silence Lotto
Okay, people say you're boring and have no tactical racing sense and there is another Ausie on your team that will take up valuable resources. I say what do they know? You get the job done and you've had a good run-up this season to the Tour. I was a little more than dissapointed when you're team let Chris Horner go, but to gain a valuable Lieutenant like Yaroslav Popovych is an upgrade, Although to have both on the team would have been nice. Besides, Australia has produced a ton of fine cycling talent thoughout the years and is ready to reap the rewards.












2. Alejandor Valverde -Caisse d' Epargre
Congratulations, with your win in the Spanish Road Race you moved up from my provisional list. With the lack of time trial miles in this year's race and a strong team with a long Tour de France pedigree...Delgado, Indurain, Pererio (Pererio, really? yeah I know its weird but I guess he did win it even though if it wasn't for that long-ass break he was in we'd be talking about Sastre or Kloden) gee, thanks Floyd for pissing testosterone.
Over the past few years I've picked you to do big things in the Tour and every year you've let me down. If this isn't your year then you'll find yourself falling on future lists.

3. Kim Kirchen -Team Columbia (aka, High Road)
With a name like Team Columbia I'm thinking we should see the likes of Luis Herera -2 time King of the Mountain or Fabio Para hanging around the team with a bunch of crazed South American cycling fans but no. Do you remember the Postobon team from Columbia finishing with 2 riders in 1987? of course you don't, I do.
A good season so far on a team that has been the surprise team of the season with riders such as
Hincapie -now that he's off a trek I can like him again, Cavendish, who we'll talk about later, Eisel, Linus Gerdemann, and Tour of GA winner, Thoma Lovkvist. Columbia is a powerhouse team
7th in last years race, Kirchen A solid climber in his own right who won by default Stage 15 of last year's race after Vino's DQ, Kirchen won the hilly Fleche Wallone beating Cadel Evans. With Michael Rogers out of the race Kirchen should be given the green light for the GC and impressing new title sponsor Columbia Sportswear. Thanks Gert Boyle!

4. Andy Schleck -CSC Saxo Bank
23 Year-old in your 1st Tour de France on the best team in the world for the umteenth time. People say you're better than your brother Frank. Congratulations, you've just won the Maliot Blanc and somewhere in heaven Charly Gaul is smiling.


















5. Damiano Cunego- Lampre
Your second Tour de France, last time in 2006 you won the White Jersey, congrats. Can your team give you the support in the mountains? You had a good spring by winning Amstel and finishing strong at Fleche and Leige. Most people expect you to finish in the top 4, I'm a pesimist so I give you 5th, lucky I don't knock you down to 6th.

















6. Dennis Menchov -Rabobank.
Really? You never hear about this guy until the end. He's won the Vuelta twice, last year would
have been different if his Rabobank team didn't support some cheating liar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya9RVtTjHB0
At 30, time is running out for the Russian to make a move in the tour.

7. Frank Schleck -CSC Saxo Bank
Ha ha you just got served by your little brother! Your crash in the Tour de Suisse was pretty cool though, reminds me of Laurent Fignon going over the edge in Stage 21 of the 1987 Tour from Le Bourg-d'Oisans to La Plange but at least he won that stage. do you remember that? Of course you don't.









8. Riccardo Riccò - Saunier Duval
The kid is 24 and is riding in his first Tour. Won 2 stages and the best young rider jersey in the Giro last month and is starting to shoot off his mouth. This is the Tour de France, and because I'm not such a fan of snot-nosed punks you get 8th.

















9. Haimar Zubeldia - Eusatel Euskadi
A good climber and Time Trialist, Haimar has had good tours in the last three years (15, 8, 5) so I would expect this dude to have another quality finish on one of my favorite teams.




10. Carlos Sastre -CSC Saxo Bank,
Quiet guy, good enough for the top 10, perhpaps higher

Now the fun stuff!

Stage 1 Brest-Plumelec
Winner: Mark Cavendish -Team Columbia
I've had 2 riders in mind all year to win this 1st stage of a new style Tour and one of the new generations of sprinters gets it. Bernard Hinaut to Mark Cavendish "Congrats Mark kiss these pretty girls and take the trophy". "You just won a stage of the Tour!" "Oh by the way, here are your white, green, and yellow jerseys!"









Stage 4 Cholet Time Trial Winner: Fabian Cancellara -CSC Saxo Bank Duh, if Fabian doesn't win I'll be surprised. He'll also take yellow today. I remember seeing Fabian at the Tour of California this year, the guy was smokin' fast








Stage 10 Pau -Hautacam
Winner: Riccardo Riccò - Saunier Duval
The snot nosed punk pulls off a stage win.

Stage 17 Embrun -Alpe d' Huez
Winner: Brent the Tank, no really its gonna be Carlos Sastre -CSC Saxo Bank

Stage 20 Cerilly - Saint-Amand-Montrond 53 k Time Trial
Winner: David Millar -Garmin-Chipotle Finally, a clean win for David in the Tour and the highlight of the tour for the US squad.

Stage 21 Etampes-Paris
Winner: Thor Hushovd -Credit Agricole
A good win for the big sprinter, he'll be looking for stage wins because he won't win the Green Jersey. That honor will go to....

Green Jersey Winner:
Mark Cavendish- Team Columbia
Hmm, Boonen is out and so is Benatti, McEwen is getting old and the team have other things on their mind, Zabel would be nice but no. Besides, this spring I picked this guy to do great things in July and he won't let me down.

King of the Mountain Winner:
Riccardo Riccò - Saunier Duval
Okay, this kid is good, real good. He should be on a new Schwinn Carbon Paramount though.

White Jersey Winner:
Andy Schleck -CSC Saxo Bank
You know why as I mentioned above. The future of the Tour de France, ladies and gentelman Andy Schleck.

Now even more fun stuff......
How many riders from Agritubel will finish?
3.

Who will be the highest US finisher?
Christian Vande Velde -Garmin Chipotle 24th

How many finishers will there be?
155.



Dopers? how many will get caught and a sound off to "Burrito Eater" for making me name the first guy to get caught.
2 and the first guy will be Spanish. sorry, no names.


"Say hello to my little freind"






Top Frenchman in the race?
Cyril Dessel -AG2R -why? why not.

Coolest bike in the race:
The new Ridley TT bike.
Previous winners have been the Cervelo P3, BMC TT bike and the B’ Twin Carbon from AG2R.









Creepiest guy in the race: (Aka, the Laurent Brochard award) In honor of the rider who won the event a record 13 times, Laurent Brochard.
Can't think of one so Laurent Brochard -retired wins again in a landslide. besides, nobody else has quite the mullet that dude has.






The In my heart I’d love to see him pull off a stage but the last time I listened to my heart I ended up wasting 11 years with a woman who stole my dog award.
Eric Zabel –Milram. Even though Eric has won 12 stages and 6 Green Jerseys it would be great to see him win a stage this year but he won’t.

How many times will Bob Roll say “Tour DAY France” during Versus coverage of the Tour de France?
876,432,113 times, 4 more than last year.

The “it’s fun to say “Bo Hamburger” award”.
Dedicated to the Great Dane who won Stage 8 of the 1994 tour and wore the Yellow Jersey in 1998, whose name was always fun to pronounce!
Amets Txurruka -Euskaltel-Euskadi.

And Finally, the Lantern Rouge! In 2004 I picked Frédéric Finot to finish last, he finished 3rd from last.
Geoffroy Lequatre -Agritubel As always, I have no idea who this guy is.








more to follow......................................

2006 Tour de France picks, sort of now

Brent the Tanks 2006 Tour de France Predictions!

Well, what a night. In the last 12 hours we've learned that a ton of riders are now kicked out of the tour. No matter what you think, if the riders who were kicked out are guilty then this is a good thing.

So, I need a new top ten

1. Landis
2. Valverde
3. Evans
4. Leipheimer
5. Vinokourov
6. Menchov
7. Popovych
8. Mayo
9. Mazzoleni
10. Moreau

This is if there are ten riders left.

If you want to read the rest, feel free. I've changed a few things.

The one constant through all the years has been the Tour de France. Cycling is ruled by it like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But the Tour de France has marked the time. These races, these riders, are a part of our past, it reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again.

And so we begin the greatest race is finally upon us and once again, who would have thought back in 1987 when I made my first tour prediction would there this much anticipation generated by my fans, the press and the riders as to my picks. It has taken me weeks if not months of formulating my predictions and with the recent news of the Vino’s Astana team who knows who will be heading out in Strasbourg. So much has happened in the past 12 months, Lance retired but for one reason or another still grabs headlines in the press, Herras wins the Vuelta, gets suspended, looses the Vuelta, Vinokurov moves to Liberty Seguros, his boss Manolo Saiz is busted for dope, Liberty Seguros drops sponsorship, and now they’re not in the tour! Wait, there’re back in! Floyd, and Levi carry America’s hopes with very impressive wins in California, Georgia, Paris-Nice, and the Dauphiné Libéré. Ivan Basso’s star shines bright in the Giro, winning the event in convincing fashion with the powerhouse of a team, CSC. Scot, David Millar’s return to the cycling scene is now official too. And Tom Boonen hasn’t found the Rainbow Jersey curse yet thank goodness.

This year’s tour route which starts at Strasbourg goes counter-clockwise has been considered by many to be a bit flat and conservative with two long individual time trials 52k and57k, no team time trial, only three real mountain top finishes favors a certain German who wears magenta and has been known in the past to drive Porches into bike racks.

As always, these predictions are my opinions only and should have no bearing on your predictions and should be used for entertainment purposes only and as always check out my race press conferences on ESPNNEWS.


So here it is, and please enjoy responsibly!

1. Ivan Basso – CSC. When was the last time I had someone other than Big Jan on the top spot? Anyway with the strongest team in the peloton and a fantastic win in last month’s Giro here is the popular jump on the bandwagon choice to win the 2006 Tour de France. Ivan can climb with explosive power, has improved his time trial, has the best team behind him, a former Tour winner as his boss. His progression to the top spot is assured after 11th in 2002, 7th in 2003, 3rd in 2004, 2nd in 2005. At 28 Ivan is ready to assume leadership of the Grande Boucle for a few years. And most importantly his sister, Elsa.

2. Floyd Landis – Phonak. America’s favorite ex-Mennonite bike racer has had a phenomenal season so far on a good team that will change sponsorship at the end of the year. Floyd’s wins this year has built his confidence into a threat to the overall. Floyd has an old-school time trial position kind of like the position I used to win the first of many Iowa Games TT in 1991 and his TT skills have improved so with the two long TT’s Floyd will do just fine and be America’s 9th straight podium finisher.

3. Jan Ullrich –T-Mobile. Sorry Jan, but loyalty will only get you so far in life. I know you won a long Time Trial in the Giro and took the Tour de Suisse on the final day but others have had better preparation than you. Besides, the only reason I have you in 3rd is because you will win the stage 19-time trial.

4. Alejandro Valverde – Caisse d’ Epargne. Backed by a team that has been in existence since the early-eighties winning the race with Delgado, and Indurain, Valverde at 25 is the future of the Tour de France. He can climb and curiously can sprint too. Would of finished on the podium last year but a knee injury knocked him out. The reason’s Alejandro isn’t on the podium this year is the route’s lack of High Mountain finishes and that long time trial at the end.

5. Levi Leipheimer – Gerolsteiner. Another American with another fine season so far. A good climber and time trialist, Levi also known at Patrick Skemp’s twin will race a little smarter this year and not carelessly loose positions unlike last year.

6. Francisco Mancebo –AG2R Prevoyance. One of my favorite picks for a top-ten placing; Mancebo has switched teams to help this former wild-card team secure a real spot. Mancebo can climb really well and his Time Trialing has improved, he’ll really have Frenchman Christophe Moreau as his as his only support. He was on a much better team last year.

7. Alexander Vinokourov –Astana-Wurth. In out in out in? I guess you’re in so let the fireworks begin. If I was Alex and I was really “clean” I’d have a point to make in this years tour.

8. Cadel Evans –Davitamon Lotto. With little support from his team last year because of another Ausie on his team seeking green glory, Cadel pulled off a fine 8th place. This year Cadel gets the support of Chris Horner for the later stages of the tour.

9. Damiano Cunego –Lampre. Ok, time for this kid to get thrown into the Tour mix and see what he can do on a team that is mediocre at best.

10. Yaroslav Popovych –Discovery Channel. George Hincapie is not the leader of this team. Popovych is another future tour contender and last year’s White Jersey Winner. If he didn’t ride a bike from the evil empire I would have had him placed higher.

11. Eddy Mazzoleni- T Mobile. Climbed well in last years tour and finished 13th in the Lampre colors –yeah, yippie


Now for the exciting off the wall and really interesting stuff for your dining and dancing pleasure:

Who will win the 7.1km prologue?
David Zabriskie winning another Tour time trial would be great but…Another David will win.
David Millar-Saunier Duval. Welcome back David and this time keep your nose clean. If you feel the need to dope try haggis next time. David will be ready for this time trial like Steve Carrell’s character in the “40 year old virgin” was ready for his wedding night.
Trivia- Who has won the most prologues? Bernard Hinault with 5

Stage 1 winner:
With a high point of 290 meters, this stage is pancake flat and a sprinters paradise.
Ausie Robbie McEwen –Davitamon-Lotto vs World Champ Tom Boonen -Quickstep of Belgium makes the most sense right?
No World Champion curse here, Bernard Hinault welcomes the winner by saying “Tom Boonen, congrats, you just won stage 1 of the 2006 Tour de France, here is a trophy and kiss these pretty girls!”

Stage 7 52km time trial winner:
David Zabriskie -CSC


Stage 10 191km –1st day in the Pyrenees winner:
Alejandro Valverde - Caisse d’ Epargne. a phenomenal climber and a good sprinter, can stay away and hold his own.
Col du Soudet is the high point in the race at 1540m, and the last climb is 45km from the finish

Stage 11 207km winner:
Iban Mayo -Euskaltel
Riding a route that has in it something affectionately called the “Ring of Death, the Tourmalet, Aspin, and Peyresourde. This brutal day also climbs the Portillon and finishes on the Puerto de Beret. 5 climbs, 3 cat 1 and 2 HC. If Tank were riding, he would quit today.

Stage 15 187 to L’Alpe d’ Huez winner:
New pick - Levi Leipheimer – Gerolsteiner
old pick
Ivan Basso –CSC
Welcome to the Yellow Jersey Ivan.
The 25th time the Tour has finished on the climb to Alpe d’ Huez. Every climber wants to win here and if you’re Dutch odds are in your favor.
One of my all-time favorite riders, Andy Hampsten won his only stage here in 1992 riding for Motorola. It was the kind of day you’ll always remember like the day Kirk Gibson hit his walk off home run in the 1988 World Series.

Stage 19 57km Time Trial Winner:
David Zabriskie-CSC
old pick
Jan Ullrich –T-Mobile
Will loose time in the mountains but gain some of it back today but once again it won’t be enough to overtake the Yellow Jersey. Jan won the time trial here in 1998

Stage 20 155 km to Paris:
Tom Boonen –Quickstep
A bookend tour for Tom who won here in 2004 and this time has the Green Jersey.


King of the Mountain Winner:
Alejandro Valverde - Caisse d’ Epargne
I know Rasmussen is the easy choice but after much debate, Alejandro it is.

Green Jersey winner:
Tom Boonen -Quickstep
Almost as easy as picking the Yellow, Tom and Robbie will fight it out but I’m sure Robbie will head butt someone or get irked if someone calls him a Kiwi thus get DQ a stage.

White Jersey Winner:
Cunego


How many riders from Comunidad Valenciana will finish?
None ok, that was a trick question.

Where will Bobby Julich finish?
11th.
Last year I picked Bobby to finish 18th, Bobby finished 17th.

Where will Chris Horner Finish?
17th
Last year I picked Chris to finish 27th, he finished 33rd

Which team will be the most decimated by the end of the race and have the fewest finishers?
Agritubel –sorry boys but a group of cat 4’s from Rockford, IL could show you up. A stage win would be great though and a surprise to all the Pro Tour teams.
Well, since Comunidad Valenciana are the no-shows in this race they don’t count.

How many finishers will there be:
133

Dopers? How many guys are gonna get caught?
new pick- Lord only knows.
None, either they’ve cleaned up their act or their masking agents are better.

Who will be the top Frenchman?
Christophe Moreau –AG2R Prevoyance
One of my all-time favorite TV commercials is from Miller High Life. Shows someone making a sandwich and the voice says, “Its bad enough we had to bail the French out of the 2 big ones, but at least they gave us mayonnaise. Thanks Frenchie”. No really I’m not one of those wack-jobs that eats freedom fries or freedom toast I just think its funny and it’s really sad that the French can’t produce a rider worthy to win their own race.

Who will be the Lantern Rouge?
Moises Duenas Nevado -Agritubel. Like every other year, no idea who this guy is.

Coolest bike of the race?
The last 2 years we had the BMC TT bike and the Cervelo Carbon P3 as the coolest bike winners. This year we have the AG2R B’ Twin Carbon Monocoque road bike. If you see it you’ll know what I mean.

Creepiest guy in the race:
Laurent Brochard - Bouygues Telecom. Perennial Creepy Guy Winner now three years straight.
What do you get when you mix a mullet, a camero, REO Speedwagon? Ladies and Gentleman, Laurent Brochard.

The In my heart I’d love to see him pull off a stage but the last time I listened to my heart I ended up wasting 11 years with a woman who stole my dog award.
Eric Zabel –Milram. Even though Eric has won 12 stages and 6 Green Jerseys it would be great to see him win a stage this year but he won’t.

How many times will Bob Roll say “Tour DAY France” during OLN coverage of the Tour de France?
Last year I predicted Bob would say it 5,674,212 times. I was off by 32.
This year he will say it 472,231,376 times.

The “it’s fun to say “Bo Hamburger” award”.
Dedicated to the Great Dane who won Stage 8 of the 1994 tour and wore the Yellow Jersey in 1998, whose name was always fun to pronounce!
Patxi Vila Errandonea –Lampre
A close second place finish goes to Bram Tankink -Quickstep. Yeah, Tank!

Now for the Beat the Tank:
Remember that great Des Moines area call-in sports show on Sunday nights “Beat the Bear”? Well if you don’t it was hosted by Jim Zabel and the bear was the Hamms Beer Bear. What does this all mean? I really don’t know it’s just catchy that’s all. Well Eric Zabel is back this year to race the tour. And Jeannie my beloved Schwinn Paramount’s color is affectionately known as Hamms Beer can blue so there you go.

What to do? Send me your picks for the top ten only by July 4th and whoever beats the Tank in his predictions wins a prize. Those of you who I have for bike shops who have won my trivia contests this past winter know what great prizes I fire off so there you go.
The great thing about this is that:
Doesn’t cost you a thing
It’s fun
I will determine the winner if I feel someone is worthy enough to be a winner
It’s the Tour de France!

Hope you didn't pick Vino to win the Tour

Vino, poor Vino
Like I've said, how can you implicate the boss who had the drugs in his possession and not think those drugs weren't for some/all of his riders?
Will Vino get picked up by someone in the next few days? Wouldn't be the first time a rider switched teams to ride the tour. I think Ronan Pensec did it in 1993 but his team wasn't kicked out for drugs though.

The 2006 Tour de France picks are coming soon!

Stay tuned for to this boring blog for my annual Tour de France picks! tell your friends, family, ex-spouses, anyone you meet to check back later this week.
As always, my picks are full of fun, food and frollic!