After the debacle of the 2006 Tour, Floyd letting me down, and dopers pissing me off, I was fed up with pro cycling. I let my subscription to Cycle Sport, and Velonews lapse and refused to watch the crap on tv. Well that didn't last long. Even though last year's race was more of the same doping b.s. we've grown accustom to. before I knew it I had renewed my Cycle Sport subscription, I was spending countless hours watching Versus on my DVR, and scouring the internet for Euro procycling news. After thousands, if not tens of people asked for my picks last year, disenchanted for hurting so many people and causing mass histeria I'm back, so here I am once again, embarking on another list. I hope you enjoy it.
The top Ten:
1. Cadel Evans -Silence LottoOkay, people say you're boring and have no tactical racing sense and there is another Ausie on your team that will take up valuable resources. I say what do they know? You get the job done and you've had a good run-up this season to the Tour. I was a little more than dissapointed when you're team let Chris Horner go, but to gain a valuable Lieutenant like Yaroslav Popovych is an upgrade, Although to have both on the team would have been nice. Besides, Australia has produced a ton of fine cycling talent thoughout the years and is ready to reap the rewards.
2. Alejandor Valverde -Caisse d' EpargreCongratulations, with your win in the Spanish Road Race you moved up from my provisional list. With the lack of time trial miles in this year's race and a strong team with a long Tour de France pedigree...Delgado, Indurain, Pererio (Pererio, really? yeah I know its weird but I guess he did win it even though if it wasn't for that long-ass break he was in we'd be talking about Sastre or Kloden) gee, thanks Floyd for pissing testosterone.
Over the past few years I've picked you to do big things in the Tour and every year you've let me down. If this isn't your year then you'll find yourself falling on future lists.
3. Kim Kirchen -Team Columbia (aka, High Road)With a name like Team Columbia I'm thinking we should see the likes of Luis Herera -2 time King of the Mountain or Fabio Para hanging around the team with a bunch of crazed South American cycling fans but no. Do you remember the Postobon team from Columbia finishing with 2 riders in 1987? of course you don't, I do.
A good season so far on a team that has been the surprise team of the season with riders such as
Hincapie -now that he's off a trek I can like him again, Cavendish, who we'll talk about later, Eisel, Linus Gerdemann, and Tour of GA winner, Thoma Lovkvist. Columbia is a powerhouse team
7th in last years race, Kirchen A solid climber in his own right who won by default Stage 15 of last year's race after Vino's DQ, Kirchen won the hilly Fleche Wallone beating Cadel Evans. With Michael Rogers out of the race Kirchen should be given the green light for the GC and impressing new title sponsor Columbia Sportswear. Thanks Gert Boyle!
4. Andy Schleck -CSC Saxo Bank
23 Year-old in your 1st Tour de France on the best team in the world for the umteenth time. People say you're better than your brother Frank. Congratulations, you've just won the Maliot Blanc and somewhere in heaven Charly Gaul is smiling.
5. Damiano Cunego- Lampre
Your second Tour de France, last time in 2006 you won the White Jersey, congrats. Can your team give you the support in the mountains? You had a good spring by winning Amstel and finishing strong at Fleche and Leige. Most people expect you to finish in the top 4, I'm a pesimist so I give you 5th, lucky I don't knock you down to 6th.
6. Dennis Menchov -Rabobank.Really? You never hear about this guy until the end. He's won the Vuelta twice, last year would
have been different if his Rabobank team didn't support some cheating liar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya9RVtTjHB0
At 30, time is running out for the Russian to make a move in the tour.
7. Frank Schleck -CSC Saxo BankHa ha you just got served by your little brother! Your crash in the Tour de Suisse was pretty cool though, reminds me of Laurent Fignon going over the edge in Stage 21 of the 1987 Tour from Le Bourg-d'Oisans to La Plange but at least he won that stage. do you remember that? Of course you don't.
8. Riccardo Riccò - Saunier DuvalThe kid is 24 and is riding in his first Tour. Won 2 stages and the best young rider jersey in the Giro last month and is starting to shoot off his mouth. This is the Tour de France, and because I'm not such a fan of snot-nosed punks you get 8th.
9. Haimar Zubeldia - Eusatel Euskadi
A good climber and Time Trialist, Haimar has had good tours in the last three years (15, 8, 5) so I would expect this dude to have another quality finish on one of my favorite teams.
10. Carlos Sastre -CSC Saxo Bank,
Quiet guy, good enough for the top 10, perhpaps higher
Now the fun stuff!
Stage 1 Brest-PlumelecWinner: Mark Cavendish -Team Columbia
I've had 2 riders in mind all year to win this 1st stage of a new style Tour and one of the new generations of sprinters gets it. Bernard Hinaut to Mark Cavendish "Congrats Mark kiss these pretty girls and take the trophy". "You just won a stage of the Tour!" "Oh by the way, here are your white, green, and yellow jerseys!"
Stage 4 Cholet Time Trial Winner: Fabian Cancellara -CSC Saxo Bank Duh, if Fabian doesn't win I'll be surprised. He'll also take yellow today. I remember seeing Fabian at the Tour of California this year, the guy was smokin' fast
Stage 10 Pau -Hautacam
Winner: Riccardo Riccò - Saunier Duval
The snot nosed punk pulls off a stage win.
Stage 17 Embrun -Alpe d' Huez
Winner: Brent the Tank, no really its gonna be Carlos Sastre -CSC Saxo Bank
Stage 20 Cerilly - Saint-Amand-Montrond 53 k Time Trial
Winner: David Millar -Garmin-Chipotle Finally, a clean win for David in the Tour and the highlight of the tour for the US squad.
Stage 21 Etampes-Paris
Winner: Thor Hushovd -Credit Agricole
A good win for the big sprinter, he'll be looking for stage wins because he won't win the Green Jersey. That honor will go to....
Green Jersey Winner:
Mark Cavendish- Team Columbia
Hmm, Boonen is out and so is Benatti, McEwen is getting old and the team have other things on their mind, Zabel would be nice but no. Besides, this spring I picked this guy to do great things in July and he won't let me down.
King of the Mountain Winner:
Riccardo Riccò - Saunier Duval
Okay, this kid is good, real good. He should be on a new Schwinn Carbon Paramount though.
White Jersey Winner:
Andy Schleck -CSC Saxo Bank
You know why as I mentioned above. The future of the Tour de France, ladies and gentelman Andy Schleck.
Now even more fun stuff......
How many riders from Agritubel will finish?
3.
Who will be the highest US finisher?
Christian Vande Velde -Garmin Chipotle 24th
How many finishers will there be?
155.
Dopers? how many will get caught and a sound off to "Burrito Eater" for making me name the first guy to get caught.2 and the first guy will be Spanish. sorry, no names.
"Say hello to my little freind"
Top Frenchman in the race?
Cyril Dessel -AG2R -why? why not.
Coolest bike in the race:
The new Ridley TT bike.
Previous winners have been the Cervelo P3, BMC TT bike and the B’ Twin Carbon from AG2R.
Creepiest guy in the race: (Aka, the Laurent Brochard award) In honor of the rider who won the event a record 13 times, Laurent Brochard.
Can't think of one so Laurent Brochard -retired wins again in a landslide. besides, nobody else has quite the mullet that dude has.
The In my heart I’d love to see him pull off a stage but the last time I listened to my heart I ended up wasting 11 years with a woman who stole my dog award.
Eric Zabel –Milram. Even though Eric has won 12 stages and 6 Green Jerseys it would be great to see him win a stage this year but he won’t.
How many times will Bob Roll say “Tour DAY France” during Versus coverage of the Tour de France?
876,432,113 times, 4 more than last year.
The “it’s fun to say “Bo Hamburger” award”.
Dedicated to the Great Dane who won Stage 8 of the 1994 tour and wore the Yellow Jersey in 1998, whose name was always fun to pronounce!
Amets Txurruka -Euskaltel-Euskadi.
And Finally, the Lantern Rouge! In 2004 I picked Frédéric Finot to finish last, he finished 3rd from last.
Geoffroy Lequatre -Agritubel As always, I have no idea who this guy is.
more to follow......................................
5 comments:
These predictions for the Tour de France are the best I've ever read.
Classic!
How do you expect Cavendish to win the first stage if the finish in Plumelec is 2km up a 6.1% hill? He has ruled out the first stage in several interviews he gave to the press. He said he will sit up at the bottom of the climb and wait for stage two.
Awesome, as always. Don't mullets make you faster? It seemed to work for Gert-Jan Theunisse...
Cycle Sport has sucked for years and VN is finally becoming relevant again, since Iowa uber-nethead Kevin Hankens overtook their site.
Still, since the internet, good tunes and great (bike)p()rn is still free, save your money and join the caravan, chug cheap Belgian beer and smoke a few packs of Gauloises in Paris when you arrive to watch Brochard rock the moo-lay down the Shamps Aye-lay-says in a few weeks. Don't forget to protest Nike Town like any good Euro would.
You probably won't remember the experience, Amy won't forget it, but it would be pretty easy to find the half-naked Amer-ee-can running up the Madeleine in his tidy-witeys and cheap promotional chapeau up top on Versus. At that point, I'll probably say HD really want' worth it, but at least I'll have proof the legend still exists outside a few days a year on the RAGBY.
Whenever I find myself getting a bit worried about how much I think about bicycles and bike racing, I just have to take a gander at your blog, it makes me seem quite sane.
Really though, great picks. If I were in need of a new cycling bible, I'd take this website for the gospel truth.
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